Gays Can't Wait Either: Civil Rights Aren't Just for Straight People of Color

We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied." -- Martin Luther King, Jr., Letter from a Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963

When MLK wrote those words, he was talking to white clergy who had repeatedly told him to take a chill pill. To hold up, wait a minute, don't go there because they weren't with it. Jesus teaches us to be patient, they told him. And MLK called them on their crap. He told them Blacks had waited long enough. He told them why we couldn't wait anymore: because, as he quotes late UK Prime Minister William Gladstone, "Justice too long delayed is justice denied."

46 years later, and we have a Black president. President Obama has Arrived. On the coat tails of the people who sat down at lunch counters and marched in the streets and walked during bus boycotts. And also on the coat tails of people who risked their lives "illegally" crossing borders. And others who fought in the streets, most visibly beginning 40 years ago at the Stonewall Bar in New York City, for the right to love.

President Obama, the product of an interracial marriage that was illegal in some states at the time of his birth, should be particularly sensitive to this matter. Without laws on their side, his parents might never have produced the first Black President of the United States of America. Thankfully, MLK and millions of others said, "We can't wait!" And they didn't. They marched on until victory was won.

Moreover, in 2008, Senator Barack Obama became President-elect because a coalition of Blacks, whites, Latinos, Hispanics, East and South Asians and yes, gays of all of those shades, came out of the woodwork for him. President Obama, gays stood up for you. And in exchange, you promised to stand up for us.

So, I have to know. Why did your Department of Justice, the national civil rights enforcers, file a brief in in the case Smelt v. United States defending the extraordinarily homophobic Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)? As the President of the Human Rights Campaign, Joe Solmonese wrote to President Obama:

DOMA is not “neutral” to a federal employee serving in your administration who is denied equal compensation because she cannot cover her same-sex spouse in her health plan. When a woman must choose between her job and caring for her spouse because they are not covered by the FMLA, DOMA is not “neutral.” DOMA is not a “neutral” policy to the thousands of bi-national same-sex couples who have to choose between family and country because they are considered strangers under our immigration laws. It is not a “neutral” policy toward the minor child of a same-sex couple, who is denied thousands of dollars of surviving mother’s or father’s benefits because his parents are not “spouses” under Social Security law.

Exclusion is not neutrality.

A coalition of queer rights groups released a statement containing the following request:

When President Obama was courting lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender voters, he said that he believed that DOMA should be repealed. We ask him to live up to his emphatic campaign promises, to stop making false and damaging legal arguments, and immediately to introduce a bill to repeal DOMA and ensure that every married couple in America has the same access to federal protections.

But in the end, what I write here is not for the President. He will not be reading this. This note is for the rest of us, on the ground. And more specifically, for the activists who think that it is okay to let this one slide. For the people who come up with excuses for why the need for equality for gays isn't URGENT. For why we should wait. For why you don't have to bother reading the brief or learning anything about it.

To the grassroots activists who think it's okay to let queers sit in the back of the bus: Your hypocrisy is shocking. It is shocking for your queer children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, parents, and friends. You are the same people who go out and work daily for racial justice. I must ask you, why do Black gays deserve a quieter defense than straight Blacks? Do you also believe that Black women should wait while white women get their rights? I believe Sojourner Truth had a few words for you, and they were, "Ain't I a woman?"

So, let me ask you, aren't we human too?

As long as you stay quiet, President Barack Obama doesn't have to worry that his homophobic Department of Justice is threatening the broad coalition that raised him up. Indeed, the divisions you promote by leaving us behind are exactly what he needs to continue to use his office to protect institutionalized hatred.

People of color in America may have waited centuries for the right to vote. Queer people of color (and queer whites) have waited millennia for the right to participate in families just like their straight brethren.

And let me respond to those who think the gay marriage movement is simply a middle class movement seeking privilege: it is working class queers who have the most to gain. The people who need to pool resources the most. The people who need to be able to inherit Social Security benefits. The people who can't hire fancy lawyers to help them with partner adoptions or to help them gain access to their hospitalized loved one during critical final moments. It is working class queers who can't afford to simply move to a state or country where their rights are respected.

To the movement that taught me the importance of solidarity, I beg you to give solidarity substantive meaning: show us the same solidarity you have demanded from others.

Teh Artz

I had a few thoughts about various happenings in the arts world. Here they be: (in no particular order of importance. I just like numbering things.)

Music
1. Vienna Teng's new album "Inland Empire" is a win, especially the tracks "No Gringo" and "Stray Italian Greyhound." I've been listening to it for a few months now, and I have been coming back to it repeatedly. So far it is my pick for most solid release of 2009.

2. New Eels "Hombre Lobo" is so forgettable that I keep forgetting that it a. came out and b. that I own it.

3. The new Roots album was supposed to come out this week but got pushed back to DECEMBER. What the fuck?

4. Regina Spektor's brand new "Far" did not disappoint after the tantalizing release of the "Laughing With/Blue Lips" single. It's solid pop and still solid Regina. "Blue Lips," "The Calculation" and "Folding Chair" have stolen my heart.

5. Street Sweeper Social Club (the stage name of duo Boots Riley [rapper] and Tom Morello [guitarist of Rage Against the Machine fame]) is fantastic. Way better than that Mars Volta shit. Tom Morello really is one of the greatest living guitarists, and the song "Promenade" is utter perfection.

6. Malcolm Middleton is one of my favorite performers. As such, I will probably love almost everything he does, and "Waxing Gibbous" is fairly exciting. However, my favorite song is actually the B-side to the first single "Red Travellin Socks" (my second favorite song): "Whistle." Either way, sounds like dude got a girlfriend. I hate to say it, but I was mildly disappointed by his newly optimistic tone.

7. The World is experiencing a 21st Century Breakdown and Green Day wrote the soundtrack to it. Sometimes it's hard to hear the lyrics on this album, but if you pay attention, they're great. "21 Guns" is one to listen to.


Books
1. New Monica Ali In the Kitchen at 47 pages in is not the massive disappointment that Alentejo Blue was.

2. Martha A. Sandweiss's Passing Strange: A Gilded Age Tale of Love and Deception Across the Color Line, is totally fascinating, even if Martha's discussion about how Black identity is defined is a bit one-sided and statist (read: really fucking annoying).

Movies
1. I found "Angels & Demons" to be surprisingly satisfying and moving. WTF, mate?

2. The trailer for "Transformers 2" made me want to see it. Am I batshit crazy? I'll find out when I see it later tonight.

Plays
I must highly recommend the Stratford, ON Shakespeare Festival performance of Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest."

Minorities Doing the Majority

A tiny (I hope) note about how much work it is to be a member of a minority group. Especially if it's a group that it is popular to bash somehow. Or whatever. If I have to explain what that means, then this whole note is going to be lost on you.

We have to do a lot of fucking work. Because yes, while I want to be empathetic and sympathetic to the feelings of the person who has just decided to slug their douche baggery at me, I'm also not a fucking genius. This means that I don't have a properly prepared Canadian-polite statement for you that simultaneously tells you to check yourself but does in a way where you don't feel stung by the fact that you FUCKED UP.

And everyone who expects us to be polite EVERY FUCKING TIME: GET A FUCKING GRIP. Let me see you react perfectly every time someone unexpectedly decides to trash the place where you grew up or the community you come from. Let me see you get bombarded on a regular basis with feedback from society, from the media, from your professors, from your colleagues, from your friends that something is wrong with some part of your identity, and then you can get back to me about how dealing with these things is not a big deal. And how we should all just stay calm and you know, say the right thing.

Maybe I'm not the one who should worry about saying the right thing in these situations. It's the people around me that I have to react to. I'm tired of the table being turned, like these situations are our responsibility. It's not my responsibility to help the racist feel better about being racist or to help my friends feel better about the classism and racism that they allow to go unchallenged.

On a vaguely related note: fuck nationalism. Nationalism causes wars.

Jon & Kate Plus 8

I remember thinking, "How bizarre!" the first time I happened upon this reality TV series about parents Jon and Kate, their twins and their sextuplets. I had missed out on this TV phenomenon since moving to Canada meant moving away from regular access to cable. But, I was in beautiful Halifax, Nova Scotia on my honeymoon with Lucy, and we were enjoying the nice hotel room, including the TV. We were fascinated by the show, and fell in love with the eight children. When we got home to Toronto, I ordered the first two seasons on DVD and devoured them.

Fast forward to a year and a couple months later. It's July 1st, and I'm in tears watching the most recent episode of Jon & Kate. Last week, they announced on the show that they were separating. The same day, Kate filed for divorce in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. I'm torn up, not just because as a child of two divorces, I know how hard this is for the kids. I'm torn up because it's July 1, and I'm just a few months away from completing my own divorce. I look at them, and their anger, and the differences and the way they talk about drifting apart, and I know exactly what they are talking about.

I've been saddened by the tabloids and magazines at the supermarket. For the most part, they blame Kate for being a controlling monster. Occasionally they take digs at Jon for maybe having an affair. And I think, maybe these things are true. But I also know that the narrative of how a marriage collapses, whatever mistakes people make, is complex and sad and often not, in the end, about the blame game. If only things were so simple.

There's also been a lot of discussion about the role the show itself played in their marriage trajectory, as well as a lot of judgment about what it has done/will do to the kids. I have to say that as easy as it is to make judgments about that, I don't know what I would do if I suddenly had to pay for eight kids. Where would I get the money? What if someone offered to ensure my family was taken care of, and in exchange they recorded our lives for a few hours a week? I'd probably let them do it.

I can tell that Jon had a hard time with Kate's micromanaging. I can tell that Kate needed to do it or something like it in order to keep things together. It's tough. It's all very tough. And watching this week's ten year look back is devastating, especially if you've seen recent episodes where they are clearly distant and struggling to share space with each other. I know what that's like. It's just ... awful.

So, this has gotten me thinking about reality TV. I used to watch The Real World religiously. I celebrated when Puck was kicked out of the house and cried when Pedro finally lost his battle with AIDS. It was something innovative and new. A take on the MTV Generation. Now, it is no longer fresh and often just a way for people to debase themselves in exchange for money. But I don't think that's what Jon and Kate is. And I think now, it's something new. A guide for the rest of us who didn't have the happy ending, who have families and lives that must go on despite the imperfections of our partnerships.

As hard as it is for me to watch, I'm glad that I have this window. I'm glad to watch Kate be strong, even as she suffers. It gives me strength because I am not alone. And I know there are plenty of women out there who feel the same. Like she says about Jon, I can never hate Lucy. But like Kate will do without Jon, my life marches forward without her.

In the meantime, it's Canada Day, and I fucking hate patriotic bullshit, especially in countries built on theft and death, but I like my new partner Ryan. So I'm going to go celebrate with him and be glad that even though in December and January it felt like there was absolutely no way I would ever live through such a tremendous loss, I did.

Redemption

To follow up on my thoughts about the way Michael Jackson inspired people, I thought I'd share this video of the Filipino inmates once made famous by their incredible rendition of "Thriller." They apparently worked through Friday and Friday night to prepare this incredible tribute. Amazing the people he inspired. The tribute:


The Thriller video that made them famous:


The inmates worked hard for the tribute performance. HuffPo reports:

After being told of Jackson's death Thursday in Los Angeles, the 1,500 inmates at the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center hit the exercise yard, practicing for nine hours Friday night -- and into the wee hours of Saturday morning -- for the show. They took breaks only to eat or when it rained, said professional choreographer Gwendolyn Lador, hired by the prison to teach the inmates the dance.

MILITARY COUP IN HONDURAS

In an effort to prevent a democratic vote on whether to rewrite the Constitution (an initiative supported by Honduras President Zelaya as well as Venezuela President Hugo Chavez), the Honduran military has staged a coup d'etat, kidnapping President Zelaya from the Presidential Palace in Tegucigalpa. It is believed that he was sent into exile on the Presidential plane, and rumor has it that the plane is headed for Venezuela.

Civilians have surrounded the palace, throwing rocks at the military perpetrators and calling them, rightfully so, TRAITORS. For more, check out the Guardian.

BBC has footage.

UPDATE: Washington Post is reporting that President Zelaya has landed in Costa Rica.

President Obama stopped short of doing the right thing and simply said:

"I am deeply concerned by reports coming out of Honduras regarding the detention and expulsion of President Mel Zelaya," Obama said in a statement.

"As the Organization of American States did on Friday, I call on all political and social actors in Honduras to respect democratic norms, the rule of law and the tenets of the Inter-American Democratic Charter."

The statement said that "any existing tensions and disputes must be resolved peacefully through dialogue free from any outside interference."

Uh, this needs to be resolved by the military standing down and democracy being restored, Mr. President.

As of time of writing, NY Times is not reporting it at all.

It's So Hard to Say Good-bye

I remember when people said that Boyz II Men were bringing Motown back to life. Songs like "It's So Hard to Say Good-bye" were indeed reminiscent of the sound that the label brought to the public. But nothing. Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing will ever be like what the Jackson 5 were. And no one will ever approximate the enormity of Michael Jackson.

From moments like this one at Motown 25 when MJJ globalized the Moonwalk:


To songs like "We Are the World" (co-authored with Lionel Richie) that raised money for famine victims in Ethiopia:


Michael Jackson rocked our world and urged us to rock it too.

Michael Jackson has been the soundtrack of the two deepest forces in my life: dancing and making change. In 1984, I was wandering around the wedding of two family friends carrying a copy of "Thriller" on tape and saying to everyone, "Mika Jacks." A year later, at age 3, I started watching MTV. Watching Michael Jackson's incredible videos for "Billy Jean" and "Thriller," I learned my first dance moves.

My earliest memories of Disneyland include repeated viewings of MJJ's captivating sci-fi dance thriller "Captain Eo": (the following two videos contain the entire 16 minute feature)



It's Sunday now, and I still can't listen to "Man in the Mirror" without crying. I'm thinking of Tehran and the people who are following his words to the letter. I'm thinking of "Earth Song" and his words urging us to remember the children dead from war. I'm thinking of Iraq. I'm thinking of the indigenous people in Peru fighting for their land right now. I'm hearing "We Are the World" and remembering that we are the ones who make a better place. I'm feeling "Heal the World" and remembering that Michael always seemed to remind us that ALL our lives depended on making the world better. This wasn't charity. It was self-preservation.

As the child of a Black Caribbean mamma and a white Jewish father, I remember being stunned as I watched MTV's World Premiere of "Black or White": "If you're thinking of being my baby, it don't matter if you're Black or White." It was the first time I had ever seen anything in the popular media that validated what my family looked like.

And say what you will with madcap theories about his skin color: the man was not afraid of his African roots or color. Just have a look at the video for "They Don't Really Care About Us," featuring Brazil's Oludum drum troupe. The video is a rare opportunity to see Michael freestyling his dance moves. (embedding this video isn't possible, so follow this link.) Also have a look at the end of the full version of the "Bad" video where MJJ performs a traditional call and answer, inspired by centuries of African American musical innovation. The man was Black, and he sure wasn't afraid to show it and LOVE it.

But Michael, like his music, transcended Black and white. Michael became an embodiment of the other world that was possible: the one where we enjoyed who we were and loved what was unique about everyone else. As he sang in "Another Part of Me":

This Is Our Planet
You're One Of Us

We're Sendin' Out
A Major Love
And This Is Our
Message To You
(Message To You)
The Planets Are Linin' Up
We're Bringin' Brighter Days
They're All In Line
Waitin' For You
Can't You See . . .?
You're Just Another Part Of Me . .

One person on facebook said, "I'm not sure I'm ready to live in a world without Michael Jackson." I know I'm not ready. But I know I'll have to make do. And I think that's what Michael would want. He would want us to keep dancing. He would want us to keep loving. He would want us to keep trying to change the world. He would want us to see ourselves in each other.

So I'm going to keep talking to that woman in the mirror, and make a change, always thankful that Michael Jackson made sure that a new generation watched MTV and saw Martin Luther King and Gandhi setting an example for all of us:


As Captain Eo sang to me all those years ago, We Are Here to Change the World.

Farewell, Michael.

The Case for Some Old Fashioned Moral Absolutism

Now there's a title I never thought I'd take seriously. But, because of a few things I've recently seen and heard in my life and also the lives of others, I've really started to think about "what is it okay to fudge?"

So I am making a list:
1. Rapists can go to hell, thank you very much.
2. Ditto for people who are physically abusive.
3. By extension, people who are willing to offer love and support to people who commit either of these crimes and who have not sought to change themselves or make amends: you can also kiss my ass.
4. And everyone should feel that way.

I am tired tired tired of a society that seems to sort of condemn these acts of heinous, hateful violence but is unwilling to fully, openly and brazenly tell these assholes to go to hell.

I don't care if the person is behaving like a real fuck. You are not allowed to persistently physically abuse them in response. An eye for an eye makes everyone a violent asshole, not someone shining the light of justice on a situation.

And moreover, I am sickened by a society that compounds the scars these crimes leave by taking a light attitude toward them.

Give up calling that shirt a "wife beater." Don't say that to the woman who was a beaten wife/girlfriend/lover. Don't be a fucking asshole.

Rape jokes are simply not fucking funny people, especially for those of us who have been raped. But yeah, thank you very much for reminding me that my trauma is your laughter, you sick jerk.

I will not apologize for believing there is no debate here. These things are unacceptable, and it's time everyone accepted that.

How else can we possibly minimize their occurrences? We have to be willing to take these things seriously and to be vigilant about them.

I've Been to the Mountain Top

For Friday night, some lovely soul music. Kim Weston singing "Lift Every Voice And Sing", the Black national anthem, at the Wattstax music festival:


And the beautiful ending words of MLK's final words to us:

And they were telling me, now it doesn't matter now. It really doesn't matter what happens now. I left Atlanta this morning, and as we got started on the plane, there were six of us, the pilot said over the public address system, "We are sorry for the delay, but we have Dr. Martin Luther King on the plane. And to be sure that all of the bags were checked, and to be sure that nothing would be wrong with the plane, we had to check out everything carefully. And we've had the plane protected and guarded all night."

And then I got to Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.